March 2013 Randoms II

Roman numerals because I'm classy like that...

Time for some more random stuff. This is less of my own prose (don’t act so crushed) and more random stuff I’ve observed that I thought were humorous, but not really enough for their own posts. Away we go!

For those of you who didn’t know/don’t remember, I went to the Giants/Steelers game in NYC for my birthday last year. Not much to report stadium wise since all football stadiums are hulking structures devoid of character.

Outside the stadium.

The Rog, presumably seeking more people to protect the Shield.

This place is large.

National Anthem.

Now it's full!

Our prayer circle for the evening.

Unfortunately, I did not take any photos of food. As evidenced in the post from Marlins Park, sometimes I get too hungry and forgot to document my gorging before it begins. However, I did have a nice roast pork sandwich, and it was tasty. Instead here are a few things from the game:

First, it was a 4PM game and we arrived early. There was a place to see scores of the early games, but stadiums really should be providing live feeds of all the games. They have the screens and technology, and it’s annoying enough to be at the stadium instead of home or at a bar. They need to make the fan experience better. Worst part: one large screen kept replaying highlights from the previous Super Bowl. You know, the one where the Giants beat the Patriots. I was cringing for about an hour until we went to our seats.

Quote from a Giants fan: “Our fans are everywhere. We pop out of the sewer.” Yes, yes you do.

Prayer circles: this is the phenomenon where players gather together at midfield and pray when someone is legitimately injured. I’ve always found these fascinating, because how do they occur? Is it organic? Does a pastor come out to organize it? Does one showy player (looking at you Ray Ray) ostentatiously get everyone together? Well, while one circle is too small a sample size to definitively conclude, the one during this game was organic.

Last note: Beer sales stopped at half time. Seriously?! I know that old Giants Stadium was subject to a lawsuit after an over served fan crashed and caused fatalities, but halftime seems a little early. I had to scramble to find someone to sell me a beer at the beginning of the 3^rd quarter. I did not expect that. Then again, from my experiences in baseball stadiums, aside from being cheaper, most stadiums away from the Northeast are far laxer with the alcohol policies. While I’ll write them up later, St. Louis and Milwaukee were two of the drunkest stadiums I’ve ever been to. Just food for thought.

Since this was supposed to be a potpourri, I feel compelled to share something else. I didn’t shave for about 6-7 weeks before the Bar. I looked homeless. The upside: I had a wicked ‘stache. Direct quote:

“Your mustache puts Tom Selleck to shame”

Lastly, globalization has touched us all. When visiting rural China in January, I was taking a cab one night. It was silent, and we were in the country. Suddenly, the driver’s cell phone rings. Music begins. It sounds vaguely familiar. Is it… wait… yea. Gangnam Style. Of course. Also, I taught the future spouse of the blog the word ‘douchebag.’ She now employs it frequently. I’m proud of that.

Cheerios

Two posts in a week?!? Wow!!! Sorry, but I had dinner with my family tonight, and this story came up. Not to oversell it, but when I heard it, I doubled over with laughter. So here is me as an asshole two year old:

When I was younger, my mom would give me Cheerios. I was a picky eater, and for whatever reason, I would eat them, and they would general shut me up, especially in the car. However, no matter where I was, if I had some Cheerios, and I was unhappy, I would throw them at people (try not to act shocked). So the car was a giant mess, because I was a fussy child and would throw things (I know how hard this is to believe, but bear with me).

So one day my mom takes the car to get washed and I am there as well. The guy at the car wash opens the door and sees a lot of Cheerios on the floor and (naturally) asks why there are cheerios everywhere, because it's a giant mess. She tells him that she gives them to me to calm me down. Of course, as soon as she says that, I reach into my pocket, where I have some extra cheerios (I always had reserve food when I was growing up. You’d think my parents starved me considering how many stashes I had around the house), and, for whatever reason, threw them at his face.

He stood there stunned for a few seconds, then in a not so polite manner told my mom to leave and never come back.

March 2013 Things

So this is going to be a mishmash of a blog post. Topics to be reviewed: 1) The two baseball games I went to this week (WBC in Miami and Sox-Marlins in Jupiter), 2) my AL East prediction for this year because I want my stupidity recorded for posterity and 3) a stupid conversation I heard a week ago, because I want you to forget about my stupidity before you leave this page.

So I realize that I have not completed my road trip stories from last summer, the remaining days of which I spent in baseball stadiums. So of course, now I’m going to write about two baseball games that I went to this week!

First up, Red Sox @ Marlins in Jupiter, FL. This one will be brief. First, I got a bacon wrapped hot dog. It was terribly overdone. My first few bites I forgot there was bacon on it because the bacon and hotdog were so charred. [No photos] The only saving grace was that the pulled pork on top (yes, there was pulled pork on top, it’s a wonder I’m not 300 lbs.), was soft and juicy, and totally redeemed the whole experience. I also got some toasted raviolis. No complaints there. Not much about the game that I want to cover, other than that it was the most exciting spring training game I’ve been to in years. Mostly Sox fans, so it was full and loud. Boston looked great when the good players were in. Lester pitched more than competently, Jackie Bradley Jr. looked phenomenal and got a few hits, then Rubby de la Rosa ruined it all and almost coughed up the lead. Marlins won the game on a walk off homer by their top prospect Christian Yelich. Also, they made four vendors dance on the dugouts to Gangnam Style at one point. It was… something else. No video because I felt too badly for them. Last note here, the guy who sang the anthem pronounced ‘over’ at the end, instead of singing ‘o’er.’ It sounded weird.

World Baseball Classic (Italy “@” Dominican Republic)

First off, this may have been the most fun game I have ever been to. While yesterday was great in terms of Spring Training games, today was awesome. There were 14.482 people in a 37,000~ seat stadium, the roof was open, and the place was loud as hell. One writer tweeted that if you were watching and closed your eyes, it sounded easily like 30K plus (Emma Span). I would agree. The chanting, drumming, honking, whistling and whatever that silver thing that sounded like a scratchy cymbal was an experience I will never forget. The crowd was probably 90% pro Dominican Republic, maybe 1% pro Italy, the rest just baseball fans). They were quiet when Italy was at bat, and usually wouldn’t get going until the DR got a base runner on. But they were great fun. Italy jumped out to a quick lead, but the DR slowly chipped away. I was hoping it would take them a little longer so the crowd would get crazier, but you can’t win all the time.

Also, while I’ve been to Marlins Park before, today the roof and centerfield panels were open, so it felt like a real baseball stadium. There was a great view of downtown Miami, we got some sun and shadows, and a great breeze. My big complaint about the park is that their utilization of available scoreboard is terrible, but pretty much every stadium at this point is the same, so it’s not fair to single them out.

Food:

This is probably why you’re here, so let’s get down to business. I did my usual research before the game and mapped out some must eats, depending on what was open during the game. The upper deck was closed and not all the concessions on the lower level were open, but I still gorged myself.

My first destination was the Taste of Miami food court. There were four places in there to eat. My dad had a hankering for a Cuban sandwich, which was served with plantain chips. He seemed satisfied. I am not a Cuban Sandwich person. I wanted something more. I got this:

(remnants of the sandwich, I almost forgot to take a photo! In the top right are the plantain chips)

This is the Pan con Lechon from Papo Llega y Pon. As someone who washed out of Spanish junior year in high school in favor of Mandarin, all I can say is that this is a low roasted pork sandwich on a nice soft roll, with onions and hot sauce. I hate onions. Didn’t matter here. This thing was amazing. Even my sister, who is the exact opposite of someone who likes trying new things loved this sandwich. I will dream about it tonight.

After eating this, I knew I was going to eat again. My research had told me to look for the Shrimp Burger from the Burger 305 stands. Chopped shrimp, condensed and fried on a bun? I’m in. Unfortunately, this was my white whale for the day. During my initial stadium loop, I saw the Burger 305 stands, but never noticed a shrimp burger. I tried again around the 5^th inning, but still no dice. I was Ahab, but thankfully there was a grey whale to attract my interest: fish tacos.

(You can't see the fish, but it's there.)

Two tacos with a large helping (by regular standards, not just ball park standards) of fish, well seasoned with pepper, cilantro, lime, tortilla crisps, hot sauce (self added). They were filling and delicious. The only downside: they put cheese sauce on them. I know that most people say fish and cheese should never mix, but I’m willing to give everything an open mind. These two should not have mixed. Occasionally a bite would isolate the cheese sauce and fish, the cheese would overpower it all and I’d feel kinda queasy. This would have been one of the better foods I’ve ever eaten at a park in terms of both value and taste without that cheese sauce. Ugh.

AL East

I’m writing this out of hubris, because if I am right, I will never let anyone forget it. If I’m wrong, you’ll never hear about this again (check my first blog post ever. There’s a reason why I never bring that up…). So here are my standings:

Tampa

Toronto

Boston

New York

Baltimore

No win totals, because I’d like at least a shred of dignity in October. Rationales: I think Tampa stays healthy and their hitting and defense improves from last year. Longoria stays healthy and finally has that MYP type year. And David Price is a Cy Young candidate because he is awesome. For Toronto, I’m not fully convinced they’re the juggernaut most people predict. I think Dickey will be awesome, but the Miami guys have a lot of questions, about Bautista’s wrist injury isn’t going to allow him to hit for power for at least half the season. Boston is, admittedly, my homer pick. I don’t think they’ll be as bad as everyone predicts. They have the hitting, and I think the pitching will rebound. I even think Lackey will not be a sinkhole (and that is the point where you can officially conclude I know nothing about baseball). Yankees: too many injuries. I don’t believe in their starters beyond CC and Kuroda, and pretty much their whole lineup is injured or coming off of injuries. Baltimore will regress because last year was not sustainable, in terms of their extra innings record (Chris Davis beat the Sox in like the 18^th inning!), one run record, and random career years. Feel free to mock this later.

I overheard this at the airport a two (maybe three) weeks ago:

Harried Would Be Air Traveller: You didn’t give me my boarding pass!

Counter Woman: I’m sorry, were you here before?

Harried Would Be Air Traveller: You didn’t give me my boarding pass!!! I did E-check in and you never gave me one!!!!

Counter Woman: Did you print it and not receive it?

Harried Would Be Air Traveller: You need to print it?

Just ugh. 1) That man is an idiot for both a) not printing and b) his accusatory tone that this one woman was responsible for the airline withholding his ticket from him (though I would have accepted that, as someone with such a low IQ should not be allowed in the air lest the lack of oxygen further impairs his cognitive abilities [and that is probably the douchiest sentence I’ve ever written. I’m quite pleased right now]) and 2) how did he not print the ticket? I’ve done E-check in before. You get the option to print, or have a mobile boarding pass. The options are very clear, especially with this airline. What is it about air travel that makes people go insane or devolve into toddlers and wild animals? It’s uncanny and unsettling.

Story Time I

First up, announcement: I’m not abandoning the road trip series. I have detailed notes of every day of the trip and it will be continued at some point. Those posts take at least an hour to write though, and since I am busy with school, it’s difficult to motivate myself to write for an hour after doing homework for 5+ hours. Anyway, to fill in the down time, I have a new project I’m starting here.

Basically, I’m going to be writing more frequently with dumps of random things that have happened recently. This was inspired by the atrocious awareness of Massachusetts drivers, bikers and pedestrians. I have so many stories of people who should have died, and Twitter doesn’t always do it justice because of the space limitations. Instead, those will now go here. Also, random quotes/anecdotes that I wanted to share, but had nowhere to put them, so enjoy!

I’m starting with an idiot in Harvard Square, because he led to the inspiration for this. I was driving and had a green light. As I, and the car next to me, proceeded through the intersection, each of us had to slam on our breaks and come to a screeching halt, because some moron decided to cross the street, against a green light. That’s bad. What makes it worse: he was texting on his phone AND NEVER ONCE LOOKED UP. WHAT THE HELL?!  Even after two cars almost hit him and splattered his brains on our windshields, he had a complete lack of awareness of the situation. I sincerely hope that message was of vital importance. (Note: this will be a recurring theme here. I frequently drive near the 50 million college campuses in Boston and I’m starting to believe all of them need to have a course during orientation to teach them that they are on an urban campus, and can’t walk wherever the fuck they like whenever the fuck they want. It’s a public safety/traffic flow issue).

Comcast

When I first signed up for my cable package, I flipped through the stations to see what came as part of my subscription. On all of the stations I did not receive, there was this message: “This channel is free as part of subscription.” No shit.

Comcast apparently does not have a centralized system across the country (this astounds me. How can you be a national corporation, but divide it into different territories where information cannot be accessed? Bank of America did this also. They broke it down even more though, where Northern and Southern California were different territories. How is this legal?). Anyway, I needed to cancel my service in California and open a new account in Massachusetts, because it was impossible to transfer my package and account. So I call Comcast to set up an appointment and order my new package, then I needed to call them again to cancel my old subscription (yes, I really needed to call again). When I inform the service rep that I’m cancelling my subscription, he asks why (as everyone does. When I cancelled my gym, they asked for so much of my current information that I could’ve sworn they were building a FBI dossier on me). I tell him that I moved and had to open a new Comcast account in Mass. Direct quote: “Sorry to lose you as a customer” ……… I understand these people work off a script, but does that limit their ability to comprehend what the person at the other end of the line is saying. YOU DID NOT LOSE ME AS A CUSTOMER. I CANCELLED THAT ACCOUNT TO OPEN ANOTHER ACCOUNT WITH THE SAME MONEY BECAUSE YOUR SHITTY COMPUTER SYSTEM CAN’T HANDLE ALL OF YOUR CUSTOMERS.

Last one:

I went to visit the doctor last week for some immunizations. Before he comes in, the nurse weighs and tests my blood pressure (which is fantastic by the way, not that anyone could tell that from these posts and my Twitter feed). She goes through the standard questions and we have this exchange (and picture her thick Russian accent, I think that adds to this):

Nurse: Do you do drugs?

Me (remember that I am an idiot and apparently deaf): Hmm… I mean, I drink probably twice a week.

Nurse: No, I said drugs. No one cares if you drink. Everyone drinks.

Duly noted.