Cheerios

Two posts in a week?!? Wow!!! Sorry, but I had dinner with my family tonight, and this story came up. Not to oversell it, but when I heard it, I doubled over with laughter. So here is me as an asshole two year old:

When I was younger, my mom would give me Cheerios. I was a picky eater, and for whatever reason, I would eat them, and they would general shut me up, especially in the car. However, no matter where I was, if I had some Cheerios, and I was unhappy, I would throw them at people (try not to act shocked). So the car was a giant mess, because I was a fussy child and would throw things (I know how hard this is to believe, but bear with me).

So one day my mom takes the car to get washed and I am there as well. The guy at the car wash opens the door and sees a lot of Cheerios on the floor and (naturally) asks why there are cheerios everywhere, because it's a giant mess. She tells him that she gives them to me to calm me down. Of course, as soon as she says that, I reach into my pocket, where I have some extra cheerios (I always had reserve food when I was growing up. You’d think my parents starved me considering how many stashes I had around the house), and, for whatever reason, threw them at his face.

He stood there stunned for a few seconds, then in a not so polite manner told my mom to leave and never come back.