Three blog posts in a month! Holy crap! Anyway, this is going to be a long one. It’s about my travel day yesterday, which genuinely sucked. Hopefully you can find humor in my misery.
This post is going to be full of hate. I’m full of the piss and vinegar today. Surprisingly (considering my last post), it’s somewhat of a defense of airline employees and I guess service industry people in general, as opposed to the worthless sacks of shit who demand that the world bows at their feet just because they bought a fucking plane ticket. Let’s take a tour through my day yesterday:
1030: My flight is at 12:20 and I arrive at the airport. I go to the computer check in and get my stuff printed out. Unfortunately, I can’t get myself to the counter to check in my bags because a worthless fucking family has splayed themselves out across the strip provided to Continental, just waiting for one of the computer things. I used to think this was a problem exclusive in China, probably because I walk around there alot, but the past week has taught me different. Does anyone ever look out for other people when they walk anymore? Or possibly realize that by blocking a whole lane, they could be in someone’s way? I admit I can be careless, but I always try and give people passage if they’re walking near me and need space. Anyway, I get to the counter and am told that I do not have a seat on the plane. Now, this makes no sense. I bought a seat. I had been assigned a seat. Let me repeat that again, I was told I had no seat EVEN THOUGH I HAD BEEN FUCKING ASSIGNED A SEAT. Airlines wonder about their customer relations problems, this may be the reason why. No one was able to explain to me why I didn’t have a seat. The ma behind the counter was polite enough about it, apologized and told me what to do to get on the plane.
12:00 I’ve gone through security and am hungry. I cannot eat though because I need to go straight to my gate and get myself a seat. When I arrive, there is no one working behind the counter. I sit down on the floor within view of the counter to finish writing a paper. The lady comes over eventually and is inundated with people. She looks beaten down from the world. Not in an angry ‘fuck you’ type of way, just that she’s overwhelmed. On the flight, which is overbooked, she makes several announcements trying to get people to delay their travel plans for a flight later and a $300 travel voucher. The problem is that there are no more flights to Houston that day and everything is full regardless, so people would need to wait a day. This seems like poor planning by the airline. Overbooking people with legitimately nothing they could do about it. There was a a later flight from an airport an hour away to Houston. One lady volunteered to wait until the next day. One man VERY RELUCTANTLY offered to take the later flight. He said he had a graduation to attend and needed to be in Houston. No one else would take up the offer. Those two were told to stick around in case people didn’t show up. I heard them shut down the counter in the lobby of the airport to prevent stragglers from showing up, and taking seats. I’d been standing at the counter for probably 10 minutes now. The lady behind the counter didn’t really say much to me, since there was nothing she could say, so I just watched her work.
12:20 The boarding begins. People are idiots. I mean, I guess that’s usually the point of most of my posts, but is there something about airports that makes people act like even bigger sacks of shit than normal? The problems began when the lady behind the counter started asking people to put their carry on bags into the little bin to see if they would fit. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, does it? If it fits, you’ve been delayed 5 seconds from walking down a hallway to wait in a line to get on a plane. If it doesn’t fit, you’re breaking the rules and fucking other people’s shit up because you’re taking up extra space that’s not yours. Stop being a selfish asshole and put the fucking bag in the bin without complaint. Of course, this is imfuckingpossible for most people to comprehend. First guy gets pissed and says why does he have to when no one else does (maybe because you had the first big bag shithead?)? The pattern repeats itself with hilarious/horrifying/sad regularity. With the reactions of these people, you’d think they’d just been subjected to shit porn. One lady tried to claim her bag always fits, so she doesn’t need to put it in. They told her if it always fits, then there’s no problem. It didn’t fit. She wouldn’t accept this. She managed to take enough out of her bag so it fit... but then she was required to keep that on her lap the whole flight. Right after her, same thing. Stupid lady who won’t put it in. Except she went further. She tried to ignore the employees asking her to put her bag in the big. They had to bring her back out to the gate. She argues for a minute. (What’s the point of arguing here? I guess this is the essence of my post, even though I’m probably only halfway done now. I guess people bitch/argue/yell to make themselves feel better, but at the point of demeaning someone else who’s just doing their job? I mean, if you hate a policy or something a company does... bitch at the people who make the policies, not the worker ants who carry it out. You just come across as an asshole that way). So this lady thinks everyone is distracted, she picks up her bag PRETENDS TO PUT IN THE BIN THEN WALKS AWAY. I mean.... she just fucking pretended. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? This woman looked at least 50.. and she was acting like a petulant four year old. I saw this, and almost told the employee mainly for the humor this would have caused. Yelling and hopefully even some kicking and biting. I’ve never seen the TSA police in action. This would have been my big chance. Anyway, luckily one of them employees saw her and made her come back. She’s screaming about how ridiculous this is and they’re trying to calmly explain that this past five minutes could have been avoided... if you just put your luggage in the bin. She makes a big show about how it always fits and this is stupid, blah, blah, blah. At this point, do I even need to mention it was too big? I started openly laughing at this point. I wish I’d had some popcorn. So she takes a jacket out of her bag so it fits and has to keep it on her lap the whole time.
12:35 We have one empty seat on the plane. It’s the woman who offered to fly the next day. The man with the graduation wants the seat, but I’m told it’s mine. 20F. Not an aisle, but at this point, I’m happy not to be delayed a day. I get on the plane... someone is in my seat. I asked one of the flight attendants if I should be in 20F, he doesn’t know and needs to go check. So I am standing in the aisle of this plane with my backpack on. We’re already 15 minutes late. I have hit some poor man twice in the face with bag. And everyone is sitting down and staring at this jackass in the aisle. Man comes back and I am in 20F, the problem caused by.... someone who has 30E sitting in 20E. Practically the same thing! Moron. There’s a guy already sitting in the window who has 20E, he asks if he can keep the seat. This is an emergency row so I already have extra leg room... and I’m just happy to be on the flight. I’m happy.
4:00~? After I have a drink, I read a bit then decide I want to nap, since I haven’t slept in 20 or so hours. I start nodding off, then am jolted awake. The guy next to me is watching BBC America and it is apparently the funniest fucking show in the history of mankind. He was laughing so loud and making no attempt to stifle it. My ear drums were on the verge of bleeding. (I guess this also ties into people not being aware of their surroundings. I mean, did he not realize how loud he was being. The people in front of him kept turning around and trying to figure out what was so funny. When I’m in a quiet or confined space, I try and suppress my laugh. Sure, I look like I’m having a seizure but at least I’m trying to be considerate.) SO every five minutes I’d get jarred awake by laughter. Sleep was non-existent.
5:15: We’re de-planing and as I just about get off the plane, I realize my passport fell out of my pocket and I had to go back to get it. Moving against traffic like this is nearly impossible, so I had to wait it out in first class. At first I was going to try and go up row by row i nthe small gaps, but I’m entirely too lazy for that. Instead I waited for an elderly lady to get up, who needed the stewardesses help, so I could run abck and get it, then run off the plane.
5:45 I hate Houston’s airport. It’s so freaking huge and whenever I connect there, I’m ALWAYS on the opposite side. The hallways are too narrow, made even worse because they’re always driving carts through there, so you need to keep your head on a swivel at all times unless you want to get clipped. Like everywhere else, no one will move out of your way so I almost got hit twice. That’s fun.
6:20 I reach my gate. It’s advertising a flight to San Jose Costa Rica. At first I thought I was told the wrong gate, so I had go look at the monitors. When I reach the counter, another stressed airline employee is trying to find people’s bags and looking for a connecting flight. At least the people here were not bitching at her. All parties seemed pleasant.
6:30 I have been told to return to get my seat assignment (once again I bought a ticket. Got a seat assignment online, then it disappeared into the ether. Fucking airlines.). I went to Wendy’s to eat for the first time of the day. There are people at both registers. On one register, two airport employees are flirting with an unattractive Wendy’s employee. At the other register, the person in front of me is moving slower than an 85 y/o recovering from a double hip transplant. After standing there for three minutes, the manager sees what’s going on and takes my order from the kitchen then yells at one of the employees to take my money. I liked her snappy, efficient style.
7:55 I’m boarding the plane now. The overhead bins are full. A man who sounded like he was from New Jersey wanted to put his bag in the first class bin, but he did not have a first class ticket. This is against the rules. Instead of accepting this, he decides to put up a fight. Because the bin over his seat is full, he should be able to put his bag in first class. Once again, what the fuck is the point of fighting over a policy? You can’t win. YOU. CAN’T. WIN. Bitch to the airline after you get off the flight, but the stewardess? She’s just doing her job. Yes, some can be absolute bitches and abuse their power, but at least yesterday, none seemed to snap considering all the shit they were getting. He put his bag in a coach bin. Arrogant asshole.
11:15 We have landed in Florida. I’m at the baggage conveyor belt. I have one bag, but not the other. Someone asks me if I have looked at all the bags on the belt, for some reason believing I had only scanned the small area in front of me. The belt starts. It stops. The belt starts. It stops. The belt starts. It stops. This happened probably seven or eight times in fifteen minutes. My bag is still not on the belt. I ask an employee where to go to report a lost bag. He asks me if I’ve looked at the whole belt. Being as polite as I can considering the circumstances, I tell him yes, now tell me where to go.
11:35 The lady behind the counter in the lost baggage room probably has one of the shittiest job at an airline. Her whole existence centers around apologizing for the airline fucking up and praying the irate customer doesn’t throw a punch at her. I hope she gets paid well, because I would snap at that job. As I walk in, she looks up and just lets out a sigh. I legitimately felt bad for her at this point. Luckily, the piss and vinegar that’s in me today was non-existent last night. I’m as nice as possible as I report my bag missing. While I’m at the counter, an older man and his wife walk in. He’s already swearing about the airline losing his luggage. The lady tells me my bag is probably still in Houston since I connected there. I get a claim number and am told hopefully the bag will arrive tomorrow.
This afternoon I called the airline to find out where my bag was. After being put on hold for five minutes, I finally get someone who can locate my bag. He seemed genuinely shocked I didn’t call him a fucking asshole and scream at him. My bag was on it’s way and actually just arrived as I type this sentence.
If you’ve made it this far kudos, you have no life! Anyway, the whole point of this: try not to be a prick to service employees. They’re people too and no one likes being yelled at for shit out of their control. Also, it makes you look like a jackass then people write snarky blog posts about how much of an asshole you are. I also failed to mention I’ve been sick since yesterday. I would be lying if I said part of me didn’t hope that I infected several of the people mentioned in this post. Good riddance to those assholes.
No comments:
Post a Comment