"another day in paradise, dealing with these fucking idiots out here"
-greeting given to me by a boston police officer as he pulled up to my booth earlier today
before i delve into my first china story here, i have a group project for anyone who actually bothers to read this (re:matt kane) and happens to live in the boston metropolitan area. drive westbound on the mass pike one day from newton and go through the interchange where 90 and 95 meet. read the signs. see how clearly marked they are. be thankful you arent a retard. whenever i work the westbound tolls where 90 and 95 meet many people come through claiming they got off the mass pike by accident because the signs are 'confusing' or 'it's not clearly marked'. now, i dont know about anyone else, but when there are two distinct signs, one for interstate 95, and the other for interstate 90 west, it's probably a good idea to drive under the sign of the road you'd like to travel. but everyday (my highest count was 84 for an 8 hour shift) many idiots come through believing the signs are in chinese characters. they make me want to stab them for being morons and myself for having to deal with them everyday. next time i drive that way, i'll have a camera ready to take pic to give some photo evidence of this post so i don't come off as a complete rambling idiot. china post in a few mins...
2 comments:
i have a story you might appreciate. i went to duane reade with the wifey and was looking for some annie's macaroni and cheese, which they did not have. so i get to the counter to pay for the shit that i bought and the person behind the counter goes "did you find everything you were looking for?" automatically i say "yup," but then erica's like "actually, no we didn't." so i tell the lady that we did not, told her what we were looking for that we didn't find and was curious as to what she was going to say. she pretends that she doesn't hear me and continues scanning my items. she definitely heard me because i said it loud enough. so erica and i start laughing because, what the fuck's the point of asking the question if youre not going to do shit about when you get a real response? the kicker to all of this is that i pay for a $9 and some change bill with a 20. she gives me ten 1s back. im like what? so i tell her, "thank you, i'll go use these at the strip club." i didn't see her reaction, but erica said it was one of disbelief and shock. so i knew that she could definitely hear me.
new duane reade story:
ok, so the wife and i are again at the same duane reade in times square buying some essentials: toliet paper, ice cream and condoms. we get to the register and we are asked again if we found everything fine and we did so we told her that we did but last time we didn't and she seemed semi-receptive to it. so after she scans everything she tells me the total and i look to erica, who is just standing there, and i say "not so fast babe, i got this." so she replies "shut up, i paid for dinner." to which i replied "yeah, but it's my birthday." so now she looks like a real ass - complaining about having to pay for my (fake) birthday dinner. so she says to the register person "yeah, say happy birthday to him, he's 13." then she has a sudden inspiration and says "so we bought the essentials of a great birthday - toilet paper, ice cream and connies." at which point we both start laughing hysterically and the register person's just laughing awkwardly. so the kicker is i paid with a credit card and they have digital signature things, so i felt that a giant phallic symbol would be my signature for the day. so the register person gives me my receipt, which does not have my signature, and then takes the store's receipt, which has my signature. usually they just glance at it and put it away, but i see out of the corner of my eye as i'm walking out that she looks at it and stares at it, i can only imagine in shock and disbelief. needless to say i cannot wait until the next time i go to that duane reade with the wifey.
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