Sunday, October 21, 2007

Regina Spektor is a Bitch

ok so as I have alluded to in my previous posts, Alex is now officially a contributing member to this blog. I don't think he's going to write frequently, but whenever he has a rant or random tangent he wants to write about, I'll put it up in return for some sort of favor, most likely of the sexual variety. Without further ado, here's Alex with "Regina Spektor is a Bitch":

This past weekend I was lucky enough to attend a Regina Spektor concert at Brandeis for only $5. Now now, I know what you’re all thinking, and no, I am not on the rag. But you know who probably was? Regina Spektor, because she was moody and a total bitch throughout the show. All the girls in attendance seemed to love her, but when observed by a non-biased viewer like me, it was clear this woman was as unpleasant as the mustache I’m currently growing (details later).
When you think of a concert, especially one held at a college, what atmosphere would you expect to find there? Lively, festive, drunken, and fun are all thoughts that came to my mind. I’ve been to a show at Brandeis before (Blackalicious, if you must know), and the show was just as you’d expect it to be- it was loud and fun. This Regina Spektor show was different. Right before the show began a groupie came on stage and welcomed everyone to the show. There were cheers from the crowd and people were obviously starting to get really into it… then the groupie dropped the bomb shell that spelled the beginning of the end for the night. “Hey ya’ll, tonight Regina only brought her piano which means that this is going to be a quiet show. That means no cheering or talking during the performance, ok? So let’s get it out of our systems right now and cheer!” Awkwardly everyone cheered, but we were quickly silenced and reminded that that was all the cheering to be done that night. Seriously?
The lights went out and everyone naturally started cheering for Regina. Almost immediately the three bouncers standing by the stage began waving their arms to quiet us down, and people hadn’t even been cheering for more than a minute. Lame, totally lame, and not a good first impression. Regina came on stage and did some weird hippy chanting that people seemed to like. I didn’t. Still there were some cheers from the audience, which quickly resulted in an angry glare by Regina. She then moved to her piano and began playing her music. I like lots of music and I’d heard good things about her from others, and too be perfectly honest her music wasn’t that bad (albeit a little repetitive). Still, her attitude completely ruined the show for me, and it just got progressively worse.
About two songs in people were back to cheering and talking quietly amongst themselves, realizing that her music was in fact audible as long as you weren’t obnoxiously loud. This apparently wasn’t appreciated by Ms. Spektor, because as soon as she began to play her third song she stopped abruptly, hit the keys on the piano and stated lecturing us to be quiet. “Now, maybe you didn’t hear the announcement made at the start of the show, but I only have a piano here which means the shows going to be quiet. That means, if you guys talk, no one can hear the music. You guys want to hear me play right? Good! Then shut up and listen!” Jesus, what a goop chute! This speech was followed by quiet applause by her groupies and hard-core fans who apparently have never been to concerts and don’t understand that standing in silence for over an hour isn’t that much fun.
Throughout the rest of the night any time anyone spoke there was an immediate “shh” from somewhere in the crowd. Even during another one of her songs Regina added a “shh” to get us to quiet down even more. Get over yourself lady, you’re on a college campus and half the kids there are intoxicated and want to enjoy themselves. This isn’t a piano recital, it’s a music concert, and you weren’t even good enough to deserve our utmost attention. This was evident about half way through the show, when she forgot the words not once, but twice during a song. Then, once she remembered the word, she promptly forgot how to play the musical accompaniment. “Fuck!” she happily yelled out loud, which was followed by laughter and more quiet support by the die-hards. Hm, apparently not only is it ok, but it’s funny to fuck up three times in row after making yourself out to be the second coming. I kept hearing girls whispering how nice and down to earth Regina was, but everything I saw from her screamed bitchy. First impressions say a lot, and the impression I got was Regina Spektor has sand in her vagina.


kane said...

gold, fuckin gold!

Anonymous said...

Little dear Regina is your typical hipster bitch, she believes everything she pushes out of her arse is gold because she's not "a sellout" and belittles anyone who has more success than her.