Jewelry

Ok it has been incredibly too long since I've posted something, so I'm going to get things back on track with a nice long China post. Anyways, I have an eyebrow ring as you all know. I've been wearing the hoop with the ball (I swear this is going to get interesting in a second) which usually stays in its little hole, and causes me no problems. However, last year, before I went to China I was still wearing the semi circle with the little screw on spikes which always seems to fall off at the most inopportune times. So before I left, I put a new package of facial jewelry on my list of things to buy because I figured over the course of six months, I was bound to need a replacement. I went to the mall multiple times, for whatever reason (my own stupidity) I refused to buy them, even though I knew I was going to need them. So flash forward to late January. I'm in China, with only one ring. Sometime (most likely in my sleep) one of the little spikes falls out. Normally I'd just replace the spike, but with no new rings, that's not possible. I decide it's doable to maintain this one ring for the next few months as long as I manage it well and make sure it doesn't fall out. Two days later, I'm in the shower (which I guess is a story for another day, but the 4th floor showers were on a slant and the drain sucked, so even wearing flip flops, your feet got wet in soapy China water. I've also yet to mention the cage at the top of the stairs, yet I digress...) and, of course, the gushing flow of lukewarm water made the ring fall out and go down the drain. So now I realize I'm kinda fucked. I have about 18 or so hours after it falls out to put in a new one, otherwise the hole starts to close up. In America, I'd hop on over to the mall and buy a new set. In China.... not so much. Of course I wait a day or two to do anything because at that point, going out on my own was scary and I could barely communicate with the locals. Eventually (we'll call it a Thursday for the purposes of the story) I decide to venture out into the great unknown and see if I could find me some facial jewelry. I take my trusty dictionary with me (because at this point my Chinese wasn't quite passable) and go to the giant counterfeit clothing market at the end of the street. I wander around, lost and lonely for the next hour. Having no clue where anything is (because even if a sign says '3rd Floor Men's Fashion,' said floor is littered with many things on top of men's fashion, and men's fashion could, in actuality, be found on any floor) I just keep walking. I think I want a women's section, but I wasn't even sure. Of course I found nothing there because they don't sell body jewelry at local Chinese clothing markets. I decide next to walk to Ito Yokkado, which is a Japanese Walmart-ish type store that sells pretty much anything and is nice to walk into (unlike Carrefore, which is a French Walmart-ish type store that smells and has raw chickens strewn about--- not a pleasant site if you're not interested in acquiring the bird flu virus). I should note here that McDonald's is also next to Ito Yokkado and there's actually an entrance from the store to McDonald's so you don't have to walk outside. This is the type of information only this blog will give you. Anyway, at Ito Yokkado I go to the jewelry section and start looking around. I get to the place where earrings are located and stand there looking helpless until someone comes over to help me (a favorite strategy of mine in stores, especially when in women's sections. Some female employee always takes pity on me and comes right over, taking all of the difficulty out of the purchasing process). I try and explain I want some jewelry. However, once again, my Chinese sucked at this point. I had written some key words down on my hand (my favorite notepad) and decided to try them out. The words were 'round' and 'earring.' Of course, they had no clue what I was trying to say. I was reduced to pointing at the earrings then pointing at my face (specifically my eyebrow) which, predictably, got me nowhere. Apparently not alot of people in China have facial piercings. At this point, my strategy has backfired and I've attracted a crowd of female employees because I'm clearly making a spectacle of myself at this point (which happened whenever I tried to make a purchase in a store. Buying a cell phone with Alex drew over 5 employees. When I attempted to buy a camera while speaking Chinese, the shopkeep was so surprised he called over pretty much everyone who was working in the store at that point to hear me speak, then proceeded to tell me they sold out of that camera). Embarassed, but undeterred, I decide to stick with the pointing strategy, hoping it would eventually click with somebody. Eventually the word 'round' seems to sink in, so they pull out of a tray of rings which would've been fine but they were engagement rings, not eyebrow rings. So I start using my keywords and my pointing skills to try and say ear ring for my face, which also creates a new buzz. However, they thought I actually wanted ear rings, so they pulled out of a tray of them. Earrings could've worked, but they were all studs. I can't put a stud in my face. So the game continues for awhile, and they keep pulling out the stud earrings even though I'm pointing at them and saying 'round.' Eventually one of them understands what I want and brings out some hoop earrings. I told them 'good but smaller.' They understood me when I said that, and so I was eventually able to buy a pair of small, round earrings for about $15US. (note before I continue, I just want people to know I'm not blaming them for not understanding my pointing and crappy Chinese. It was my fault I couldn't clearly say what I wanted. I just wanted to depict the absurdity of the situation, I'm not racist). So I scurry back to the dorm and stand in front of my mirror, and begin to put in the jewelry. One problem: its been two days, and the hole has closed somewhat. I realize I'm basically repiercing my eyebrow, Luckily, these earring's were sharp so they cut through the skin quite nicely and produced alot of blood (because open wounds in China are always a good thing). I got the thing in and immediately emailed home for some real eyebrow rings to be included in my next car package. Luckily Mom and Dad obliged. The lesson here: never use a one armed man to try and scare people... uh, I mean, don't blatantly ignore your own internal warnings and refuse to buy something you'll need when you're abroad with no realistic means of obtaining it.